Right This Moment

Tomorrow and plans for tomorrow can have no significance at all unless you are in full contact with the reality of the present, since it is in the present and only in the present that you live. -Alan Watts

I attended a day-long professional development on Friday for all of the school counselors in my school district. I was expecting to gain some resources for helping my students (which I did), but I was not expecting to be challenged personally in the process.

Our keynote speaker gave a couple of presentations throughout the day, one of which was on the topic of anxiety. This is something that my colleagues and I see with students on a daily basis. It is no wonder, though, with the pressures and expectations that our students face – many of which did not exist when I was in middle and high school.

I have never particularly struggled with anxiety. At least, not with more than the things that would typically (and should) cause anxiety. I have always valued in myself the ability to stay calm in most situations and to have an easy-going personality. However, a few weeks ago was an exception for me. On several occasions, for the whole day, I felt a sort of underlying uneasiness, but I wasn’t really able to pinpoint the source. I felt it both physically and psychologically and I wasn’t able to get the feeling to pass. This is where the presentation on Friday struck a chord with me. One of the first things Nick (the presenter) said was that emotions really only last a maximum of 90 seconds. After that, everything we experience is our thoughts and the narrative we create about our emotions. I believe he took this claim from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor who studies chemical reactions in the brain and the effects they have on us. When I thought about this idea, something clicked. I realized that the uneasiness I felt in the weeks before was lingering mostly because of the thoughts I had about it. My mind was in the future – wondering if this feeling would go away and worried about what was to come.

Anxiety – or at least a healthy dose of anxiety – has a purpose. Our discomfort is what causes us to move. It’s like sitting on a rock. It’s only comfortable for so long, but eventually I’m forced to shift. I talked in my last posts about recent changes in my world and wondering what is next and I believe those are the source of some of my discomfort. Although it’s hard to step into that discomfort, it’s ultimately what allows me to grow.

The other thing about anxiety is that it’s usually an indicator of future thinking. On Friday, Nick recommended several readings by Alan Watts so, naturally, I had to check him out. The quote above stuck with me because I realized that I often rob myself of happiness because I’m worried about the future. We can only live in the present and, if we try to live elsewhere, we will miss out on what’s here and what’s now. Being mindful and being grateful help us to be present. Each morning at work, we take the time to do a “1-5 check in”. Each person shares our current state of wellbeing on a scale of 1-5. I like this practice because it has helped me to realize that, more often than not, things are okay.

I want to keep learning how to live in the present. I saw a quote from a friend on social media recently from Lao Tzu: “if you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” While that may be a bit over-simplified, it often rings true for me. We shouldn’t forget the past, especially the good things, and we shouldn’t fail to prepare for the future. But let’s learn to live in the present and to take it all in.