That was a headline in my news feed this morning. My response: "of course there is..." With the recent challenges that have faced the world, it seems only fitting that brain-eating amoebas would add to the mix.
I've always been a person who likes to research and understand everything. In the past couple of months I have become a sponge for the news. Most of what I've read has to do with the coronavirus. I want to understand this thing that has caused 2020 to be the most bizarre, difficult, and unsettling year in my lifetime. However, the coronavirus is not the only thing that will make this year one to remember - globally, nationally, and personally. As we also deal with questions of racism, policing, our history, our political environment, and the actual environment, this year will no doubt be a turning point. I question whether or not it's healthy for me to check the news each day as I often get sucked into a rabbit hole. What I read clearly has an impact on my overall mood and, as I move from article to article, I can experience both hopefulness and dread within a matter of minutes. At the same time, I also feel that being uninformed is irresponsible of me. There is a balance, I know, but I suppose I'm still trying to find it.
I started writing this blog back in October because I felt a need to document the things that were happening in my head. I'm glad that I did because it has helped to ground me and it has given me an outlet, especially as things in our world have become increasing challenging. I don't know if anybody is reading or how much people can relate to my experience, but it helps me to put it out there. As I've looked over the posts I've published since October, I am reminded at how quickly things change; including my mental status. Although the future continues to be very uncertain, it helps me to have these blogs as signposts of where I've been and where our world has been in recent months. There are recurring themes in my posts that remind me of my values and remind me that life is not about arriving at a destination but experiencing the journey. It's about being present in each part of that journey, even the difficult parts.
One of the reasons why I've been so glued to the news recently is that there are a number of questions that I hope will be answered soon that will impact the coming months for me. My mantra for the month of June (and, so far, July) seems to be "we just have to wait and see." Here's why:
Cases of the coronavirus are spiking in the US over the past couple of weeks which has created all new uncertainty. I've been wondering how bad it will get and how much it will impact us again. Since it can take two weeks for symptoms to emerge, there is also always a lag time in the data. So, we just have to wait and see.
Our school district is expected to release this week the plans for how school will run in the fall. I don't know if I will be working from home, going to school everyday, or a combination of both. Obviously, even those plans could change depending on the status of the virus. We just have to wait and see.
I am still hopeful that my new exchange student will get to come to Colorado this year. As of now, travel from Europe to the US is still restricted and students cannot get their visas. Government officials have hinted that those restrictions may be lifted soon but, so far, we don't know. The next year will look very different for Filip and for me depending on that one factor right now. We just have to wait and see.
This November will bring what I believe is one of the most important elections in our country's history. We learned from the last election that polls don't always tell the whole picture. So, it's hard to say what will happen. We just have to wait and see.
There are always questions that we want answered. The future is never certain and things change all the time. Maybe it's the number of (big) unknowns that are happening all at once combined with the amount of time I've had at home to ruminate on them, but all of these questions have made recent weeks particularly challenging for me. I've learned that there's truth in the old proverb "an idle mind is the devil's workshop," but I also believe that it doesn't have to be this way. I've been learning some basic mindfulness practices and I've (unintentionally) read several books lately that have talked about the importance of living in the present moment. One book I read a couple of years ago, The Book of Joy, is about the unique friendship between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the wisdom they both embody. I just discovered (by looking at the news) that today is the Dalai Lama's 85th birthday, so I figured that a quote from him is appropriate.
Man is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he's never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.
With so much downtime lately, it's been easy to keep thinking about the future and wondering what will happen. Reading the news sometimes gives me answers and sometimes takes me down a dark road. I have found some balance, though - playing disc golf with friends, going for hikes with coworkers, and going for walks with just my camera. I'm also eight seasons into watching my favorite TV show for the forth or fifth time. Sometimes I feel guilty for not spending this time being more productive, but I have read a few books that have been on my list for a while. I also reorganized my spice cabinet. For some reason, that made me feel better. I have to give myself permission to just be.
My answers will come soon enough. They may not all be the answers I want to hear, but I'll walk those roads when they come. We will get through the upcoming challenges, even if there is a brain-eating amoeba in Florida.
